pooka verse

The whole world shimmers, in heat like glass, like the river, The borders of things stretch and grow and do not hold stable lines anymore. It is harder to read, harder to type,My reflection stares back at me with expressions I didnt make, moves in ways I did not move. tiny movies crawl across the walls like old flicker pattern or old reel just jaunting thru my field of vision. Whispers outsidew I see people lookig into my room reflected in the window that are not there. Reflections in the wall as if it were a mirror or really a window to some other place. This tree that I painted on my wall... I watch it grow and stretch move in impossible winds. I can feel the bark shift and smell the wet earth. The visior in my closet with his long folded hat and soft black attire, he only peeks out sometimes because mostly he watches and laughs. Matt tells me to distract myself and not pay attention it is only in my head even he does not truly exisit, there is no portal in my closet leading elswhere, no creature in the mirror posing as me to frighten me. The heat rises up like great mirages but there is no heat to give me this shimmer. I iwsh things could just hold to thier shape. It ticks.. as if the world has a nervs tick shifts... every so often it just ....slides. There are extra dimensions in my computer screen... type against white becomes multilayered as if the different lines are weaving themselves, braiding themselves hovering in non stable space. Little whispers.. little whis[ers The rabbit said it might be a prince but I would never know because I was too slow to catch it. Trips I did not take things I did not do... things others never did to me or said to me... The distain in my stuffed animals eyes...the whispers of not quite heard things so many whispers it is deafening.


I am always dreaming, even when I am awake

the world has heated up, it clings to every movement, slick smooth, tonight pours itself thru spread fingers, pools at my feet, in hundreds of shades of blues blacks and grays, memories dance on these breezes, and thoughts of you are on the tip of my tongue

Ah let me be there/inside your arms in a circle of no words/nothing to shelter me but your self/nothing to pierce this existence/ as time slides forward/and we are left behind/ this moment becomes/as it is/engraved as glass plates/ cured in salt/owned by time

Why does my heart cry?


Feelings I cant fight

Youre free to leave me
But just dont deceive me
And please
Believe me when I say
I love you

And I who love you so much; what am I going to do?
You left me...you left me like a dove
My soul has left me; my heart has left me
I no longer wish to live because I cannot convince you

Why does my heart cry?
Feelings I cant fight


Why does my heart cry?
Feelings I cant fight

the show must go on
inside my heart is breaking
my makeup might be flaking
but the show must go on

www.labyrinthmasquerade.com

so after much avoidance I look at my facebook this morning. I see a post by Steven saying he was cut off from the most important call of his life after being on old for 20 minutes. He was making jokes about it but t me all it read was trouble. He has been avoiding seeing me and we have had odd conversations so I decided to ditch etiquette and call knowing he had onlyy gone to sleep a little while ago. Turns out hes worried about having cancer. No wonder he has been avoiding me. I always knew talking to him while he was asleep gave me answers. He doesnt have as many defenses when he isnnt awake. so there was that lil bit of news. I had all the wonderful bits. Im just glad I know now.

Had a conversation with Temos. He doesnt like me "like that" so theres is that issue down. I make a great friend. Lambykins is too busy and is well lambykins... edgars wants me to sign papers an makes me see red everytime I think of him. All of this shit has me so wacked out I have been seriously hitting people while drunk.

My tolerance has gone way down again. I dunno hhow I got so bad off the other night but man I was gone. I dont remember a thing and I hate that feeling. Nothing left in your memory just leaves u grasping for understanding. My emotions are off the charts on being lonely so I fill up my time with staring or sitting across from temos.

so much to say and who knows if I want to say it blech....

I think I hae scared matty for life

The echoes of wrath beat down in silent frustration
there is no Where for them to live
only between all and nothing do they exist
your bloodied lip and scared neck are testament
to the rage buried with not a memory of the lesson
I felt the need to impart to you

The echos of wrath beat down in silent frustration
there is no where for them to live
only between all and nothing do they exisit

Gaze locked, so splintered countenance does but watch
Smooth like water, sharp, ragged, brilliant--- cold
Each a voice sings bitter tasting tunes
as one alone faces the shattered

Reflections cast
each more true and false than ones before
some bits left in the after burn
only some pick up to move on

echos call
but shall we answer?
what have we to give them
ourselves is all there is
and we are not ours to give

Little shoes built of cement cast about my feet
each time I look another layer has been added
each time I look another coat of paint to cover the ugly truth

These little shoes made of cement started out much smaller
they hold me captive unable to swim in this vast sea
they hold me captive almost to heavy to lift my feet

How many steps will it take to grind the weight away?
if one always walks in wet cement
your shoes are never made of clay

Heart like fire, wind like ice, this web that separates grows thin at times, we commune at odd moments and you look in to see, as the world passes and we continue, oh what sights await and your memory hitches a ride, in all forms but the touch, we who foster what remains explore the bond of the heart that even death shall not steal, oh for the soul of you remains as is my soul, in my heart and mind, you live as I live for you and I are now one, just as you are others, reflected in their faces and memories, hearts and minds, I feel your burn, hear your speech, and am haunted by your ghost

Death may be natural, but I do not welcome it for my friends, I am left behind to suffer in a thousand memories and reflections of what once was, as they stare at me in my minds eye, but I am unable to touch them, only talk to myself

sasha travis:

If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now - when?

Reply:

If one is not for oneself ever, then one has never been, if one is only for oneself, then they are nothing but self. One could be for another when that self was once for ones self, but one for another however, ones self would have had to have been, to have another be for them. If not now then never for time was, is, and will be, just as it was not, is not, and shall not be in the next of nows.

so I guess it is official. We are separated. This is mostly to preserve the date for myself.. well technically it was after that fight but I am now all moved out. still wondering how to feel.. lots of things mixing in my head.

love brings about the worst hurts you can imagine......

soft scent on fingertips brushes/like memory's fog, drifting and subtle/with each gentle caress/ a flood, a tidal wave, an ocean/ O but to drown in this sea/ swallowed by this perfume heavy with time and and feeling/

and in this shell a heart did hatch/ in mirrored countenance shown/ that what strives for time long decided/ does blossom eventually or dies on the vine/ in this shell that has filled/ warmth is left behind

I want to reclaim you. I want to discover every inch of you, over and over again, just like I always do. I want you to see how shy and demanding it makes me. I want you to feel the same fire that you set to my skin. I want to hold you so close that we share breath and space. I want to be entwined in a world where nothing exists but this....

In this I claim you. Each inch shall be discovered, uncovered, in ageless repetition, in timeless loops, as it always has been. My wanton abandon plays shyly across my face, creeping in dulcet blush lightly on my canvas. Desire moves body in wishful action of kindled return. Candle licked flame echoed by drifting touch.

These thoughts that run like water
slipping along carved paths
gathering surrounding elements
the winding stream
deposits
and flows
to meet the standing pool
mirrored at the edges
reflections

my beautiful cat lays sleeping, head resting on the side pillow embracing the softness around him sleepy eyes and sleepy ears he whistles in his dreams

the rustling wind of my souls journey, forward backward standing at all moments in time

the light smell of night jasmine in the air, soft light spilling on the mirrored water scattered in lily pads, the moon round and orange like the lamps above the delicate spanish arches. warm air swirling around touching everything, this gentle care...ss that is tonight with romantic scenery that seems to belong to an older era

my cat is so soft his blackness fades to gray patches just under his arm joints and he feels softer than I would expect a cat to feel ... he is purring and looking at me lazily... maybe he can help me sleep

as the reaper met his birth, it came into this world as it exited the last, balancing the blade, sharp enough to cleave the fabric of this universe with heavy downstroke and seize fate's raveled ends in ones own aspect


what trouble youth have, where love and eternity were found lived and lost all in the space of mere moments. And while it is possible for this to occur, if it was truly, the space that lays before us is a path to bring about what your soul hungers fo...r. There is no place that exists dead living here or removed, to distant worlds realms and consciousnesses that I can not feel the notes of my stringed soul, plucked

I love the breath that sticks in your chest and stops time when you meet your lover again, I love the water dripping off of world at dawn, I love laying under a piano thats being played for me, I love being lost in a kiss that takes your soul, I love the feeling of completion and soft textures


There is something sweeter about having tasting the fruit before you taste the wine. The memory adds flavor to the complexities that develop so you can fully appreciate everything that it has to offer. in watches and heartstrings, to fix what one holds dear is better than to attempt a usurpation

In a world without exits she swallows the stars and pours song thru fingertips. He dives thru space shattering on contact and colliding with galaxies of thoughts and emotions. Time stops, was never started, begins and ends, reaches the right time. The other selves blossom as the scenery rewinds.

The invisible dragons that live on the walls of the castle that stands behind the house have awakened. The ring of their fangs have set me into motion to step beyond the wall and onto the castle grounds to see what stirs the guardians from slumber.

Time does not heal all wounds, it only distances you from the pain. On our road traveled, frequently, we bring ourselves close to that same spot again and again. Sometimes the road becomes smooth with wear, sometimes it gets bumpy from ruts, and sometimes

oh hold me as I slip from this world, tho what I ask of you is a burden not lightly taken. Do not let me face the unknown without your tender face and caring heart. I shall never go gently but if your heart is with me and I have you to hold then maybe I c

you can not hide from the insides of your heart, your life flows from the little cracks

In a world without exits she swallows the stars and pours song thru fingertips. He dives thru space shattering on contact and colliding with galaxies of thoughts and emotions. Time stops, was never started, begins and ends, reaches the right time. The other selves blossom as the scenery rewinds.

I am entranced by the figure of the grim reaper... my vision of that figure defies my ability to represent it. The grim reaper hides the most beautiful face in imagination, because to look upon it is complete devotion and the theft of your free will

I cry at things you might not think warrant it. I cry when I hurt, I cry when I am moved, I cry when my heart feels a flutter. Mostly I cry when no one is looking. So pardon me if I run from the room or I turn away, each tear is like a 1000 lb weight, a


we see no reason to observe, something wicked this way comes, and virgin queens do rule mens hearts, in this our prophetic stops and starts, do we but touch upon whats real, for glass does warp and steel will shatter, in this burns starlight where once a




(im anoyed at my loss of data... the ends have been cut off of a lot of this)

In a world without exits she swallows the stars and pours song thru fingertips. He dives thru space shattering on contact and colliding with galaxies of thoughts and emotions. Time stops, was never started, begins and ends, reaches the right time. The other selves blossom as the scenery rewinds.